International Women’s Day: Speaking Up

The River Birch Project LogoIt’s been awhile… The run-up to the Fall, 2016 election churned up so much topical material ~ richly relevant to The River Birch Project©.  Yet, I made a conscious decision not to add to the din of what you’d receive in email. The rush of information, outrage and worry and lack of civil discourse was overwhelming and even though our programs focus on women and leadership, I chose to pause.

Today is International Women’s Day.  We are all familiar with the statistics, and for women in management, Catalyst provides a look:  http://www.catalyst.org/knowledge/women-management. Today’s Women’s March and other actions are controversial for good reasons, as only certain women retain enough power to have the privilege to walk off their jobs.  I believe that speaking up, marching, and taking a stand in public and private is important and a choice that can take many individual forms.  Perhaps we can also look at our River Birch gatherings as a kind of circle of collective action where we strengthen our clarity and our responses in our own lives in service to others.

What’s on my mind today is about Speaking Up.

The 60’s/70’s women’s movement had a saying that the personal is political.  I’ve been thinking about the subtle and not so subtle cultural power that keeps women from speaking up.  It is a common theme in coaching women leaders: to have self-doubt and for that to impede grounded and impactful leadership.   Men have self-doubt and it manifests in a different manner, but with women it often results in moving to the side-line, taking a side seat at the table or remaining quiet.

Some of the best writing about this, for the personal and public realm, is from Rebecca Solnit,   http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/15811.Rebecca_Solnit. Take a look at her book: “Men Explain Things To Me”, and check out her original blog post:  https://www.guernicamag.com/rebecca-solnit-men-explain-things-to-me/

So, what is the appropriate response?  How do we prepare ourselves for the long haul to respond effectively and in keeping with our values, and in a way that we can be heard (through the din)?  I’ve wanted to Respond, instead of React, and take Response(able) Action.  Part of that undoubtedly takes pausing and centering, listening and discerning.

In what ways have we all experienced, at the dining table and in the conference room, this phenomenon of: “having things explained to us”?  In the many ways that this resonates for each of us, consider also the cultural and social underpinnings of power that leads to self-doubt and keeps us from bringing what we have to offer (and what the world needs) to the situation at hand.  In what other   ways do we not bring our full voice into the mix?  This question and other aspects of finding voice, will inform the next River Birch Project© program, to be offered in Spring, 2017.

We will have two events:

Finding Voice / Speaking Up:  What keeps women leaders from speaking up, and how do we recognize this and consistently find our voice?

Mentors and Mentoring:  One person can make a difference!

Stay Tuned by watching this site.

Also, for something inspiring be sure to catch part of PBS’s American Masters Inspiring woman series:   http://www.pbs.org/wnet/americanmasters/inspiring-woman/

In the meantime, Be Kind…but do not be Quiet.

Kind Regards,

~Lynn

The River Birch Project Fall Event — Recap

The River Birch Project LogoFilm Viewing and Discussion

The Women’s List

a PBS documentary by Timothy Greenfield Sanders

 Meet 15 Women Who Have Created and Defined Contemporary US Culture

Inspiring! Uplifting! Provocative! Fun! Compelling!

About thirty of us gathered to view the film along with lively discussion.  You may purchase this video from PBS (as we did), and / or view the trailer or complete version here.

“It’s sometimes surprising to discover the cumulative progress women have made in recent times. Just think, what field has not been enriched by females in art, theater, finance politics, law, entrepreneurship, science.  The list is as impressive as it is enlightening. To realize that we’re no longer pioneers, the startling exception, the first to fly, or swim or sail prodigious distances in bad weather. No longer the first to untangle problems in science, math or physics.

No. We are multitudes, and society is clearly the better for our peaceful invasion.  There is no modernity and no justice without the talent, the passion and the steely intelligence of women.”

Toni Morrison

Our discussion covered many elements inspired by the film, including a discussion of what it means to be a feminist.  What does this really mean for those who came before us as well as those who are young today, and for men, as well as women, male youth as well as female? Our discussion was about knowing one’s own power, own voice, in service to what matters, and in service to humanity.

There also was lively discussion on the topic of Self-Doubt and Confidence.  See this brief and fun TED Lesson: Tips to Boost Confidence!

Curated Resources on the topic of Women and Leadership, from last night’s event.

We look forward to seeing you at future events!

For Event updates and announcements watch this site.

For More Information on The River Birch Project

The Story of The River Birch

Women, Professional Roles, and “Having It All”

 

The RiverBirch Project focuses on Women, Leadership, & Life!  On the topic of Women, Work, and Family, two important events are upcoming:

  • Having It All, a locally produced documentary, premiered in July, sponsored by KCTS and ParentMap, and then KCTS aired the film in August.  If you missed it, there’s another chance to see it on September 24th. To see the trailer, and for more information about this honest and timely film, check here.
  • Anne Marie Slaughter is coming to Town Hall, October 5, 2015, on the topic:  Women, Men, Work and Family.  Her 2012 cover article in the Atlantic “Why Women Still Can’t Have it All” re-ignited the current U.S. conversation and most recent ‘new women’s movement’ and prompted the start of our own dialogue and The RiverBirch Project. Ms. Slaughter is speaking on topics from her new book, Unfinished Business.  Tickets and more information available at Town Hall.

RiverBirch Project Update:

We’ve taken an 18-month pause with The RiverBirch Project, and many things have ensued since our last event…The reasons for pausing can be summed up by:

My Coaching practice is thriving and has required even more time and attention.  All the while, I’ve scanned and connected with others who are convening conversations on similar topics, to be able to bring these back when the time was right.

There’s also been a tidal wave of new offerings in print, social media, and events, on the topic of women, leadership, and navigating professional / personal lives.  Truthfully, I paused to ponder: What’s ours to do in this space where there is now so much available?

In the social and print media, however, most of the conversation is along the lines of advice.   Still, I believe there’s a space for convening a conversation without advice, but with dialogue, convening conversations for learning and awareness, and support…the original purpose for The RiverBirch Project.  We will resume in October with a new RiverBirch event, and will subsequently offer these gatherings as there’s time and interest.  Watch this site for future posts and the event announcement.

For further information about The RiverBirch Project, look here.

Best Wishes,

~Lynn

Spring Forward… International Women’s Day!

Carnival (referred to as Venus),  Jim Dine, Whitman College, Walla Walla, WA

Carnival (referred to as Venus), Jim Dine, Whitman College, Walla Walla, WA

 

Springing Forward…

It is raining here in Seattle and feels like the middle of Winter, although there are signs of Spring.  The days are staying brighter and tonight we set our clocks forward for Daylight Savings Time. The Narcissus are blooming, too, along with March’s Daphne (O’Dora) which sends its beautiful fragrance out, so we notice…in the middle of the dampness, the season is changing.

Today is International Women’s Day

On Twitter: #IWD2014 hashtag

Upcoming Seattle Event:

I would like to highlight an exciting event, to be hosted by the Women’s Funding Alliance on March 31, 2014, featuring Stephanie Coontz and Lindy West, at Town Hall:  Today’s Feminism

Spend the evening with two of our region’s most savvy, sought after experts on issues that matter to women. We will welcome Lindy West and Stephanie Coontz for a lively discussion about modern solutions to strengthen women’s voices online and expand economic power among women. Lindy and Stephanie will each offer a TED style talk followed by an interactive discussion with the audience.

Hope to see you there!  Get tickets early! (These are not expensive: $10.00)

Coaching Notes — Reflections on coaching with leaders:

A theme that seems to be present among many leaders in coaching relates to the difference between general intelligence, including skills and expertise, and emotional intelligence (EQ).  Daniel Goleman writes compellingly about EQ, and is a trusted resource.

A connection between empathy and self-care:

 

A recent conversation with a wise mentor, helped me consider a connection between one aspect of EQ, empathy, and self-care. She offered that we are most able to be empathic and to consider another’s perspective and ‘walk in another’s shoes’ when we have a practice of compassion toward ourselves.  We are most able to be present with others, when we are grounded and solid, and whole, ourselves. We are most able to ‘be there’ for another, when we are coming from a place of balance and when ‘our bucket is full’. On the other hand, when we are depleted, we have more trouble with self-management and are far more prone to reactivity.  Being response-able is much easier when we are rested and generative. So, from this standpoint, knowledge about taking care of one’s self, and all aspects of wellness and self-care, becomes prominent in how we lead.

 

The connection between empathy and EQ, and the connection between empathy and self-compassion is discussed here: Dr. Kristin Neff.  Kristin also makes an interesting distinction between self-esteem and self-compassion.

Another resource is Rick Hanson, author of Hardwiring Happiness, the New Science of Contentment, Calm and Confidence.  Rick writes about brain science and re-wiring our thought patterns and approach to the world in an empirically supported and practical way.  He has a newsletter that you can find here.

Check out the Resources on my website for more references in Articles & Books.

Winter can be dark and damp in the Northwest, and it allows us to go inward.  In anticipation, too, of Spring and various home-comings, many blessings to you!

Ah, not to be cut off,

not through the slightest partition

Shut out from the law of the starts.

The inner – what is it?

if not the intensified sky,

hurled through with birds and deep

with the winds of homecoming

Rainer Maria Rilke

 

~Lynn Hagerman, March 8, 2014

 

Announcing New Event: Identity & Leadership

 

Save the Date:  January 23, 2014, 5:30-7:30pm

RiverBirch Events are offered three to four times a year.  We skipped this Fall, but some very good things are in the works for 2014.   One event, announced here, focuses on Identity & Leadership. Another event, to be offered later in spring, will be on the topic of Mentoring.

Women Rising: The Unseen Barriers; see the article:

Women Rising: The Unseen Barriers, from Harvard Business Review.  This important article illuminates the second level bias that interferes with women stepping fully into leadership roles.  It relates, in part, to identity and how tricky adopting a leadership identity can be.   I see it often in my coaching practice: confidence is a recurrent theme, even among the most seasoned leaders.  Another theme among highly trained professionals is ‘being the expert’, and while ‘skill competence’ is important, leadership involves much more.  Professionals, having invested many years in training and education, can over-identify with  ‘preparation’ and ‘being the expert’… when a new identity must be formed around “being a leader”.

Announcing:  Women, Leadership & Identity

The idea came together for a new RiverBirch Event: Identity & Leadership after I saw a workshop given by Shannon Patterson.  Shannon focuses on working with the concept of core identity and how we can intentionally reflect and develop / get acquainted with our preferences and gifts and core values, and how these form our identity.   This operates in our personal and our professional lives (including our leadership lives) as a ballast, as a guide… I wanted to bring this inquiry and conversation to our group!

With Guest Speaker, Shannon Patterson, MSOD   (for more information on Shannon, see Connection Works)

Event Date:   Thursday, January 23, 2014, 5:30-7:30pm, in Seattle

Registration for this event is now closed!  It is filled to capacity.    A re-cap and follow up resources will be posted on this site.

~Lynn Hagerman

November 9, 2013, and Updated  to open registration on January 2, 2014; Updated January 17, 2014 to close registration.