Category Archives: Work-Life Balance

Women, Professional Roles, and “Having It All”

Posted on by

 

The RiverBirch Project focuses on Women, Leadership, & Life!  On the topic of Women, Work, and Family, two important events are upcoming:

  • Having It All, a locally produced documentary, premiered in July, sponsored by KCTS and ParentMap, and then KCTS aired the film in August.  If you missed it, there’s another chance to see it on September 24th. To see the trailer, and for more information about this honest and timely film, check here.
  • Anne Marie Slaughter is coming to Town Hall, October 5, 2015, on the topic:  Women, Men, Work and Family.  Her 2012 cover article in the Atlantic “Why Women Still Can’t Have it All” re-ignited the current U.S. conversation and most recent ‘new women’s movement’ and prompted the start of our own dialogue and The RiverBirch Project. Ms. Slaughter is speaking on topics from her new book, Unfinished Business.  Tickets and more information available at Town Hall.

RiverBirch Project Update:

We’ve taken an 18-month pause with The RiverBirch Project, and many things have ensued since our last event…The reasons for pausing can be summed up by:

My Coaching practice is thriving and has required even more time and attention.  All the while, I’ve scanned and connected with others who are convening conversations on similar topics, to be able to bring these back when the time was right.

There’s also been a tidal wave of new offerings in print, social media, and events, on the topic of women, leadership, and navigating professional / personal lives.  Truthfully, I paused to ponder: What’s ours to do in this space where there is now so much available?

In the social and print media, however, most of the conversation is along the lines of advice.   Still, I believe there’s a space for convening a conversation without advice, but with dialogue, convening conversations for learning and awareness, and support…the original purpose for The RiverBirch Project.  We will resume in October with a new RiverBirch event, and will subsequently offer these gatherings as there’s time and interest.  Watch this site for future posts and the event announcement.

For further information about The RiverBirch Project, look here.

Best Wishes,

~Lynn

Spring Forward… International Women’s Day!

Posted on by
Carnival (referred to as Venus), Jim Dine, Whitman College, Walla Walla, WA

Carnival (referred to as Venus), Jim Dine, Whitman College, Walla Walla, WA

 

Springing Forward…

It is raining here in Seattle and feels like the middle of Winter, although there are signs of Spring.  The days are staying brighter and tonight we set our clocks forward for Daylight Savings Time. The Narcissus are blooming, too, along with March’s Daphne (O’Dora) which sends its beautiful fragrance out, so we notice…in the middle of the dampness, the season is changing.

Today is International Women’s Day

On Twitter: #IWD2014 hashtag

Upcoming Seattle Event:

I would like to highlight an exciting event, to be hosted by the Women’s Funding Alliance on March 31, 2014, featuring Stephanie Coontz and Lindy West, at Town Hall:  Today’s Feminism

Spend the evening with two of our region’s most savvy, sought after experts on issues that matter to women. We will welcome Lindy West and Stephanie Coontz for a lively discussion about modern solutions to strengthen women’s voices online and expand economic power among women. Lindy and Stephanie will each offer a TED style talk followed by an interactive discussion with the audience.

Hope to see you there!  Get tickets early! (These are not expensive: $10.00)

Coaching Notes — Reflections on coaching with leaders:

A theme that seems to be present among many leaders in coaching relates to the difference between general intelligence, including skills and expertise, and emotional intelligence (EQ).  Daniel Goleman writes compellingly about EQ, and is a trusted resource.

A connection between empathy and self-care:

 

A recent conversation with a wise mentor, helped me consider a connection between one aspect of EQ, empathy, and self-care. She offered that we are most able to be empathic and to consider another’s perspective and ‘walk in another’s shoes’ when we have a practice of compassion toward ourselves.  We are most able to be present with others, when we are grounded and solid, and whole, ourselves. We are most able to ‘be there’ for another, when we are coming from a place of balance and when ‘our bucket is full’. On the other hand, when we are depleted, we have more trouble with self-management and are far more prone to reactivity.  Being response-able is much easier when we are rested and generative. So, from this standpoint, knowledge about taking care of one’s self, and all aspects of wellness and self-care, becomes prominent in how we lead.

 

The connection between empathy and EQ, and the connection between empathy and self-compassion is discussed here: Dr. Kristin Neff.  Kristin also makes an interesting distinction between self-esteem and self-compassion.

Another resource is Rick Hanson, author of Hardwiring Happiness, the New Science of Contentment, Calm and Confidence.  Rick writes about brain science and re-wiring our thought patterns and approach to the world in an empirically supported and practical way.  He has a newsletter that you can find here.

Check out the Resources on my website for more references in Articles & Books.

Winter can be dark and damp in the Northwest, and it allows us to go inward.  In anticipation, too, of Spring and various home-comings, many blessings to you!

Ah, not to be cut off,

not through the slightest partition

Shut out from the law of the starts.

The inner – what is it?

if not the intensified sky,

hurled through with birds and deep

with the winds of homecoming

Rainer Maria Rilke

 

~Lynn Hagerman, March 8, 2014

 

Happy New Year- 2014!

Posted on by

Quotes for the New Year

“What we leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments,

but what is woven into the lives of others.”  Pericles

 

“Nobody sees a flower really – it is so small – we haven’t time,

and to see takes time, like to have a friend takes time.”  Georgia O’Keefe

 

Books:

Two books that have been especially welcome and helpful to clients this past year:

Buddha’s Brain, by Rick Hanson

Working Identity, by Herminia Ibarra

Blog:

A website focusing on creativity and ideas, with a great weekly newsletter:

“Brainpickings”

Best wishes for a very happy new year!

Rapture, Blister, Burn!

Posted on by

Check Out a new Play

at ACT! Theatre, July 12-August 11, 2013, Rapture, Blister, Burn!

When Catherine, a 40-something, single, and highly successful academic returns to her hometown to take care of her ailing mother, she reconnects with her college roommate and best friend, Gwen, now a stay-at-home mother and housewife married to Catherine’s old flame. Both women, coveting each other’s choices, attempt to find the happiness and fulfillment they lack by travelling a very bumpy road not taken, with surprising and hilarious results. This fast-paced, witty comedy by Gina Gionfriddo explores the continuing fallout and evolution of the feminist movement. –

Women Leaders, Breaking Barriers:

In more news:  Helen Thomas  ” who’s bottomless curiosity and unquenchable drive made her a prominent White House reporter at a time when men dominated the profession”, has died, at 92.    She was among women in the newsroom who started as a clerk and transcended that role when most women were expected to stay in the background.

Helen left public service (good journalism is a public service), and retired from her work,  when she reflected her bias.  It was unworthy of her, and was kind of nasty.  In fact, I want to remember her, without knowing this. But isn’t that the way it is with all of us?  Good people, good leaders, all of us, have bias of some kind or another. We must spend a lifetime uncovering this, and in self-reflection and honesty we need to choose to reveal it to ourselves and learn.  President Obama noted this in his comments this past week following the most recent flashpoint in our national non-conversation on Race: ” President Obama Asks Americans to do some soul-searching”.

In thinking about Helen:  she didn’t try to be a ‘lady’, and often her questions at White House press conferences were more pointed than people were comfortable with.   As women, we move through life in a way that allows us to gain more honesty in expression.  Many writers and researchers, Dr. Christine Northrup among them, say that during menopause, hormonal and biological changes influence women to loose some of the over-active filtering in the brain that brings out a new ‘calling it like it is’, a new honesty.

Corporations and Empathy:

Why Men Need Women: It’s Not What You Think

Studies say that empathic behavior of sisters may rub off on their brothers.  The presence of women influences empathic action.   A recent opinion piece in the NYT suggests another reason why it may be important for more women to be in executive and board roles relates to corporate behavior with employees and the community.

“We recognize the direct advantages that women as leaders bring to the table, which often include diverse perspectives, collaborative styles, dedication to mentoring and keen understanding of female employees and customers. But we’ve largely overlooked the beneficial effects that women have on the men around them. Is it possible that when women join top management teams, they encourage male colleagues to treat employees more generously and to share knowledge more freely? Increases in motivation, cooperation, and innovation in companies may be fueled not only by the direct actions of female leaders, but also by their influence on male leaders.”  Adam Grant, NYT, July 21, 2013

The RiverBirch Project:  Women, Leadership & Life!  Upcoming Events:

An evening event will be offered in the Fall.  Topics in the works:  Executive Presence — Exactly What is This?,  and: Mentors and Sponsors–What’s the Difference, and Why Does It Matter?

Subscribe to this site via RSS (below) to receive announcements and to hear about upcoming events.  Your email will not be shared or used for any other purpose.

Enjoy Summer!

~Lynn Hagerman, July 21, 2013

Event Follow Up: The Role of Authenticity in Healing

Posted on by

Perspectives from Three Women Physicians

About thirty of us gathered to hear Pat Dawson, MD, Astrid Pujari, MD, and Julia Smith, MD, speak on the topic of Authenticity and Healing.  Their reflections were deeply personal, thoughtful and inspiring.  Participants expressed deep appreciation to our speakers.

To learn more about each of them, or to reach the speakers:

For the books mentioned at the event,

 Thoughts about the program:

We will remember Pat’s story, and her ‘aha’ about her role with patients and how it freed her to not feel she had to fill up others, (which was depleting), but to work ‘with’ patients and respect their resources.

…and Astrid’s retreat, being near the presence of the Jesuit priest, and how it changed her to see that how we choose to see others and ourselves is life-defining.  (She felt at peace in his presence, and it was because he saw her as good and whole), and we must see ourselves as good and whole, in order to bring this to how we see others,

…and we remember Julia and her teaching that all this is a journey, an individual and at once universal developmental journey, and at our own pace we face and learn from our own demons and joys…

Our evening focused quite a bit on challenges and difficulties, (and through this crucible we emerge).  So it may have felt heavy… and authenticity also includes reveling in JOY!  We may tamp down our own response to difficulties in order  to ‘fit in’ and not make people uncomfortable, and we also, then reduce the spectrum of experience on the JOY side, too!  I’m reminded of the children in our lives, and my two golden retrievers, who are “in the moment” and model what it means to authentically experience joy.

Poems and Quotes:

You asked about poems and quotes, from the program, both contributed by Julia Smith:

Martha Graham to Agnes de Mille, Dance to the Piper

“There is a vitality, a life-force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action.  And because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique.  And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and be lost.  The world will not have it.  It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open… You have to keep open and aware directly to the urges that motivate you.  Keep the channel open… (There is) no satisfaction whatever at any time.  There is only a queer , divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the other.”

**

The Thread, by William Stafford:

There’s a thread you follow.  It goes among

things that change.  but it doesn’t change. 

People wonder about what you are pursuing.

You have to explain about the thread

But it is hard for others to see.

While you hold it you can’t get lost.

Tragedies happen; people get hurt

Or die; and you suffer and get old.

You don’t ever let go of the thread.

Thank you

…for participating in this evening, and this conversation.   The RiverBirch Project:  Women, Leadership & Life! events will be held 2-3 times a year, and announced via postings here. To be sure to receive announcements, please subscribe, via RSS on this site.  (Your email will not be shared or used for any other purpose.)

~Lynn Hagerman, June 2, 2013