International Women’s Day: Speaking Up

Posted on March 8, 2017 by Lynn Hagerman

It’s been awhile… The run-up to the Fall, 2016 election churned up so much topical material ~ richly relevant to The River Birch Project©. Yet, I made a conscious decision not to add to the din of what you’d receive in email. The rush of information, outrage and worry and lack of civil discourse was overwhelming and even though our programs focus on women and leadership, I chose to pause.

Today is International Women’s Day. We are all familiar with the statistics, and for women in management, Catalyst provides a look: http://www.catalyst.org/knowledge/women-management. Today’s Women’s March and other actions are controversial for good reasons, as only certain women retain enough power to have the privilege to walk off their jobs. I believe that speaking up, marching, and taking a stand in public and private is important and a choice that can take many individual forms. Perhaps we can also look at our River Birch gatherings as a kind of circle of collective action where we strengthen our clarity and our responses in our own lives in service to others.

What’s on my mind today is about Speaking Up.

The 60’s/70’s women’s movement had a saying that the personal is political. I’ve been thinking about the subtle and not so subtle cultural power that keeps women from speaking up. It is a common theme in coaching women leaders: to have self-doubt and for that to impede grounded and impactful leadership. Men have self-doubt and it manifests in a different manner, but with women it often results in moving to the side-line, taking a side seat at the table or remaining quiet.

Some of the best writing about this, for the personal and public realm, is from Rebecca Solnit, http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/15811.Rebecca_Solnit. Take a look at her book: “Men Explain Things To Me”, and check out her original blog post: https://www.guernicamag.com/rebecca-solnit-men-explain-things-to-me/

So, what is the appropriate response? How do we prepare ourselves for the long haul to respond effectively and in keeping with our values, and in a way that we can be heard (through the din)? I’ve wanted to Respond, instead of React, and take Response(able) Action. Part of that undoubtedly takes pausing and centering, listening and discerning.

In what ways have we all experienced, at the dining table and in the conference room, this phenomenon of: “having things explained to us”? In the many ways that this resonates for each of us, consider also the cultural and social underpinnings of power that leads to self-doubt and keeps us from bringing what we have to offer (and what the world needs) to the situation at hand. In what other ways do we not bring our full voice into the mix? This question and other aspects of finding voice, will inform the next River Birch Project© program, to be offered in Spring, 2017.

We will have two events:

Finding Voice / Speaking Up: What keeps women leaders from speaking up, and how do we recognize this and consistently find our voice?

Mentors and Mentoring: One person can make a difference!

Stay Tuned by watching this site.

Also, for something inspiring be sure to catch part of PBS’s American Masters Inspiring woman series: http://www.pbs.org/wnet/americanmasters/inspiring-woman/

In the meantime, Be Kind…but do not be Quiet.

Kind Regards,

~Lynn

Spring Forward… International Women’s Day!

Posted on March 8, 2014 by Lynn Hagerman

Carnival (referred to as Venus), Jim Dine, Whitman College, Walla Walla, WA

Springing Forward…

It is raining here in Seattle and feels like the middle of Winter, although there are signs of Spring. The days are staying brighter and tonight we set our clocks forward for Daylight Savings Time. The Narcissus are blooming, too, along with March’s Daphne (O’Dora) which sends its beautiful fragrance out, so we notice…in the middle of the dampness, the season is changing.

Today is International Women’s Day

On Twitter: #IWD2014 hashtag

Upcoming Seattle Event:

I would like to highlight an exciting event, to be hosted by the Women’s Funding Alliance on March 31, 2014, featuring Stephanie Coontz and Lindy West, at Town Hall: Today’s Feminism

Spend the evening with two of our region’s most savvy, sought after experts on issues that matter to women. We will welcome Lindy West and Stephanie Coontz for a lively discussion about modern solutions to strengthen women’s voices online and expand economic power among women. Lindy and Stephanie will each offer a TED style talk followed by an interactive discussion with the audience.

Hope to see you there! Get tickets early! (These are not expensive: $10.00)

Coaching Notes — Reflections on coaching with leaders:

A theme that seems to be present among many leaders in coaching relates to the difference between general intelligence, including skills and expertise, and emotional intelligence (EQ). Daniel Goleman writes compellingly about EQ, and is a trusted resource.

A connection between empathy and self-care:

A recent conversation with a wise mentor, helped me consider a connection between one aspect of EQ, empathy, and self-care. She offered that we are most able to be empathic and to consider another’s perspective and ‘walk in another’s shoes’ when we have a practice of compassion toward ourselves. We are most able to be present with others, when we are grounded and solid, and whole, ourselves. We are most able to ‘be there’ for another, when we are coming from a place of balance and when ‘our bucket is full’. On the other hand, when we are depleted, we have more trouble with self-management and are far more prone to reactivity. Being response-able is much easier when we are rested and generative. So, from this standpoint, knowledge about taking care of one’s self, and all aspects of wellness and self-care, becomes prominent in how we lead.

The connection between empathy and EQ, and the connection between empathy and self-compassion is discussed here: Dr. Kristin Neff. Kristin also makes an interesting distinction between self-esteem and self-compassion.

Another resource is Rick Hanson, author of Hardwiring Happiness, the New Science of Contentment, Calm and Confidence. Rick writes about brain science and re-wiring our thought patterns and approach to the world in an empirically supported and practical way. He has a newsletter that you can find here.

Check out the Resources on my website for more references in Articles & Books.

Winter can be dark and damp in the Northwest, and it allows us to go inward. In anticipation, too, of Spring and various home-comings, many blessings to you!

Ah, not to be cut off,
not through the slightest partition
Shut out from the law of the starts.
The inner – what is it?
if not the intensified sky,
hurled through with birds and deep
with the winds of homecoming
Rainer Maria Rilke

~Lynn Hagerman, March 8, 2014

Rapture, Blister, Burn!

Posted on July 21, 2013 by Lynn Hagerman

Check Out a new Play

at ACT! Theatre, July 12-August 11, 2013, Rapture, Blister, Burn!

When Catherine, a 40-something, single, and highly successful academic returns to her hometown to take care of her ailing mother, she reconnects with her college roommate and best friend, Gwen, now a stay-at-home mother and housewife married to Catherine’s old flame. Both women, coveting each other’s choices, attempt to find the happiness and fulfillment they lack by travelling a very bumpy road not taken, with surprising and hilarious results. This fast-paced, witty comedy by Gina Gionfriddo explores the continuing fallout and evolution of the feminist movement. –

Women Leaders, Breaking Barriers:

In more news: Helen Thomas ” who’s bottomless curiosity and unquenchable drive made her a prominent White House reporter at a time when men dominated the profession”, has died, at 92. She was among women in the newsroom who started as a clerk and transcended that role when most women were expected to stay in the background.

Helen left public service (good journalism is a public service), and retired from her work, when she reflected her bias. It was unworthy of her, and was kind of nasty. In fact, I want to remember her, without knowing this. But isn’t that the way it is with all of us? Good people, good leaders, all of us, have bias of some kind or another. We must spend a lifetime uncovering this, and in self-reflection and honesty we need to choose to reveal it to ourselves and learn. President Obama noted this in his comments this past week following the most recent flashpoint in our national non-conversation on Race: ” President Obama Asks Americans to do some soul-searching”.

In thinking about Helen: she didn’t try to be a ‘lady’, and often her questions at White House press conferences were more pointed than people were comfortable with. As women, we move through life in a way that allows us to gain more honesty in expression. Many writers and researchers, Dr. Christine Northrup among them, say that during menopause, hormonal and biological changes influence women to loose some of the over-active filtering in the brain that brings out a new ‘calling it like it is’, a new honesty.

Corporations and Empathy:

Why Men Need Women: It’s Not What You Think

Studies say that empathic behavior of sisters may rub off on their brothers. The presence of women influences empathic action. A recent opinion piece in the NYT suggests another reason why it may be important for more women to be in executive and board roles relates to corporate behavior with employees and the community.

“We recognize the direct advantages that women as leaders bring to the table, which often include diverse perspectives, collaborative styles, dedication to mentoring and keen understanding of female employees and customers. But we’ve largely overlooked the beneficial effects that women have on the men around them. Is it possible that when women join top management teams, they encourage male colleagues to treat employees more generously and to share knowledge more freely? Increases in motivation, cooperation, and innovation in companies may be fueled not only by the direct actions of female leaders, but also by their influence on male leaders.” Adam Grant, NYT, July 21, 2013

The RiverBirch Project: Women, Leadership & Life! Upcoming Events:

An evening event will be offered in the Fall. Topics in the works: Executive Presence — Exactly What is This?, and: Mentors and Sponsors–What’s the Difference, and Why Does It Matter?

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Enjoy Summer!

~Lynn Hagerman, July 21, 2013